Saturday, July 4, 2009

I DUB THEE... (PG-13 post, in canada 14A post eh)

Yes, it is the fourth of July, but it is also Saturday which means...


Not as catchy as the Flight of the Conchords "It's Business Time" but close enough. Just sing "It's dub time" in that soprano voice. Quick story, when Linus was a little puppy (and ever since), we'd take him out in the back yard to do his business. And every time to spur him on I'd sing, "It's business, it's business time." Worked like a charm. Consider it the Flight of the Conchord's response to Pavlov's dumb bell. (was it a bell? I think it was)

So, Today's Dubbing is slightly different than the previous two. Today's Dubee comes all the
way from my living room floor.

Host: Welcome Linus Seamus Watson to our show. What is the big event that is happening for you on Monday?

Linus: I am getting neutered.

Host: How about that? And you must be really excited about so boldly making such a drastic change from "society's norms" yes?

Linus: No. No I'm not.

Host: But surely this is going to free you up to pursue some of your dreams of singing as a soprano? And also this way you'll never have to worry about getting that call, you know from some, ahem, bitch you met at the dog park. You know, the I'm having your puppies call.

Linus: No. I don't answer any phone calls. No thumbs.

Host: Okay, that's about all the time we have now for our brave guest and temporary virile fella, Linus Seamus Watson. Thank you.

Linus: This wasn't my idea.

So for being SUCH a good sport in the face of the unspeakable, this week's dubbing award goes to our pal Linus. And now with all formalities and hocus pocus, I...



Live long and do not propagate.

Linus hiding out after this interview.


  1. Poor Linus.

    LOVE Flight of the Concords!

  2. That puppy pick of Linus! OMG...he's painfully adorable. Do you ever bring him to PT? I think Linus and Luna should have a playdate.

  3. Oh Linus. May your testicles rest in peace. We decided to get our dog, Ezekiel Romeo Murphy, neutered a little while back. It was my opinion that he wasn't smart enough to mate. I didn't think it took that much intelligence, but apparently it did. we had a girlfiend over for him one weekend, and, while they were attracted to each other, they could just not 'get it together'. He did try, my little Jack Russel Terrier, he tried so hard that he ended up with what looked like a blister on his junk. Apparently, sometimes dogs need assistance to 'get together', which i was not prepared to do. I think it would have made me an accessory during the fact, or something like that.

  4. Sure thing Jolie, right after coffee! Maybe around the 20th or later. Does Luna like North Beach? It'll be all good now too because her chastity will be safe.

    Monica you made me snort. very well done! Some would argue there's some people not smart enough to mate too, but then there's a WHOLE lotta evidence to the contrary.

    And corey aren't you supposed to be underwater someplace tropical right now? do they have internet under water?

  5. The picture of Linus' wind blown chops is pure joy. Marie Antoinette had the same smile right before they cut off her head. Napoleon Bonaparte, had that drippy smirk just before Waterloo. Cruel world. At least get him a popsicle. Tell him we are flying all our flags at half mast. All his buddies are wearing black arm bands on their arms or whatever.

  6. oh linus. did anyone tell you testicles are overated? best wishes for a speedy recovery!

    and thank you for the dog lip flapping photo. the joy is palpable. ah, simple pleasures are about to get even simpler. or shall we say neutral? or non balls biased?

  7. Oh, nuts, Linus! Sorry about your surgery.

  8. Hope Linus recovers quickly and doesn't hold a grudge...or seek vengeance.

  9. do we have the record yet for the most testicle jokes on a children's book writer blog? No, ok keep em coming... no, I didn't mean... keep sending them this way. Have a ball.

    thank you Karen ann, martha bee, and Natalie. Linus is back home and as the Vet said, "will be reliving the 60's for a while."

    Remarkable how miserable Amy and I were today while he was at the animal hospital. Amy made a roast dinner tonight and we figured Linus had earned his portion with extra gravy. I talk tough with jokes but I'm a big sap and was broken hearted today. Also Amy makes the best gravy in the world. She has a secret ingredient. yum.

    And last of all, you are all very, very clever and I applaud each and every one of you. Thanks!

  10. Has Linus considered Neuticles? They're canine testicular implants; like a boob job, but for doggie dudes. Their website boasts :

    With Neuticles®-
    It's like nothing ever changed (sm)...


  11. Of a page full of hilarious posts, Congratulations to Amy B for "Neuticles," complete even with sources. You win the illustrious gonads trophy. Well deserved.

  12. Oh, Linus. Logan feels your pain. I made Aaron late for work so I could read this post to him outloud AND so he would see the cutest Golden Eunuch. Seriously. Linus's nose is too cute. I think you are photoshopping it. Logan looks like Lyle Lovett compared to Linus.
    And please tell Linus he probably won't remember life pre-tutoring (do you remember that cartoon - ?). Logan doesn't seem to miss his bits and bobs at all. But he also forgot where the door was this morning, so...

  13. Hi Logan, err Queen Elizabeth.

    We don't photoshop anything here, though Linus does have his own make-up guy. He's the star of this blog, I'm just riding on his coattails.

    And YES, I DO remember that Far Side cartoon and LOVE it. Far Side needs to make some kind of a comeback. It deserves it. I'll pass on what you say about his "bits and bobs". Jaime you remain ever so very witty.

  14. Yes. Mail your e-letters to The Indomitable Golden Eunuch, care of He is the biggest suck in the world. He thinks he is everybody's best friend and looks confused when someone doesn't want to play/pet/make out with him.