I DUB THEE...

So where has the dubber been the last couple weeks? Passed out under a bench, on a top-secret-kid-book-paparazzi mission for Betsy Bird, or planning which children's book author/illustrator will be the next to be Punked (we try to spell correctly around here for fear of the Grammarian Gestapo)?

No. None of these things.

The Dubber was actually working as an indentured writer servant to the great Martha Brockenbrough.

But having cast those chains off, I am back and ready to dub! A hint: Above is my writer's digest shelf of writing books.

This week a certain Cocoa-flavored nom de plume has nominated someone to be thoroughly dubbed. Not just any someone, but a huge SOMEONE in our field. Nothing like aiming high. Here goes...

Alice Pope is a pillar in the children's book field. But it was not always so...

"When I was a kid, I wanted to be a rock star. I spent countless hours jumping around on my bed singing into my hairbrush along with my favorite Journey album."

- A.P. from 2006 CWIM

For those of you who haven't yet seen the Writers Digest Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market, especially the brand-spanking new one, then drop whatever you're doing and go get one. NOW. Seriously. It's like a ten pound snickers bar, packed with all kinds of great information about publishers and agents, interviews with the best authors and illustrators, and tons of great articles on all kinds of topics. Contests, awards, grants, you name it, Alice Pope has it COVERED.

"Believe. Keep working and sending out your work. Children's Writer's & Illustrator's Market is here to give serendipity a hand." A.P. from 2005 CWIM

She was also the guiding light of the SCBWI TEAM BLOG for the annual SCBWI LA conference.

So without further ado, it's business time. I, BJW, officially and with a little bit of rust after a two week hiatus, abiding all informal rites and regulations and with due pomp and circumstance, with zero humility and mass ego, by the powers in-the-vest-on me, with full admiration and plenty of anticipation of the next CWIM,

Do Dub Thee...

The Beacon. As in The Beacon that shineth its light into the seemingly impassable and treacherous waters of Children's Book Publishing. Just imagine the legions of kid's book stories that you have kept off the shoals and out of Davy Jones' Locker and the writers and illustrators you have saved from publishing purgatory. Maybe I should have dubbed you The Pope, or Her Holiness, but no. The Beacon it is, you are.

Kirby's girl/boy book panel

Kirby Larson, the incredible northwest author of the Newberry Honor book Hattie Big Sky, has asked me to join a blog panel "discussion" about the boy book/girl book issue.

Other panel members are librarians Jerene Battisti and Nancy Pearl (yeah) and writers Erin Blakemore, Dave Patneaude, Rodman Philbrick, Jon Sciezka, Joni Sensel (WWA SCBWI!), Terry Trueman, and Tyler Larson (NYU film school grad, associate producer at HBO and Kirby's son!).

And me. Talk about out of my league! Whew. There's some pretty talented folks including the Ambassador of Young People's Literature himself, not to mention founder of Guys Read.

Quite an honor to be included in this discussion which should be posted on Kirby's blog in the next week or so. I will certainly link to it when it arrives, but stay tuned.

Hover boards and time-turners

Hey bloggeristas.

Long time no talk. I mean write.

I've been swimming through a couple of deadlines. But I'm back.

I feel like Marty in Back to the Future II, "I know you sent me into the future but I'm back!" Which, I would argue, is one of the worst WRITTEN sequels to one of the BEST trilogies.

Yeah I said it! The writing SUCKS. Oh Robert Zemeckis, why did you make Doc Brown frantically "TELL" us every silly scrap of information to US through Marty. All the fun relationship that happened in the first movie, the smooth flow of information through character and normal dialogue was shanghaied because you were lazy and wanted to concentrate on your hover boards (which are sweet) and Max Headroom Coke diners.

Did I still enjoy it? Yes! But less and less each viewing and cringe at the over-telling. Not to mention the time-trap writers fall into. You know, the don't-F-with-time one. It's like the writer just planted a mine field blindfolded and now has to walk back through it. In Back To the Future PART DEUX, Biff steals the Delorian and goes back and gives the almanac to young Biff. At that moment, time has changed.

But not in the movie. Not until Doc and Marty go back to find it changed. So if Robbie Z followed his own rules this is what would have happened. Instantly, there would be no time machine because in his alternate reality he has Doc Brown committed BEFORE he made a time machine, before he and Marty could be friends and before they could take the Delorian back in time. Or ahead to where Biff steals it. Confused? Me too. But we're just getting started. The future Biff would return to be the Biff who is a casino pimp, EXCEPT he wouldn't be able to because the Delorian would disappear like Marty started to (and his siblings in the photo) in the first movie as they were ceasing to exist.

Whew! Do you see some of the complications of dealing with time travel as a writer? Yet, it calls us like a big fat white whale. J.K. Rowlings couldn't resist the urge and what happened? Soon after they appeared she had the time turners destroyed in book five. I loved The Prisoner of Azkaban and all things Harry Potter, but I could've done without time-turners. Because as my clever nephew Clay said, "So why doesn't Harry go back and take care of Voldemort or why doesn't Voldemort go after the NUMEROUS time-turners instead of wasting his time with the prophecy which was MORE inaccessible in the Department of Mysteries. Why couldn't a lot of things happen like Harry saving or warning his parents before they were killed or God knows what else.

But, despite the implications that she was opening up, she did a first-rate job on her plunge into time travel. Then promptly abandoned it. So did Back to the Future I and the third.

What do you think? When has time travel been used well and when should it never have been attempted?

Cuppa Dan Santat

Jolie Stekly, aka Cuppa Jolie, generously asked before the LA SCBWI conference if there was any questions that we wanted her to get to the bottom of.

She didn't disappoint. And neither did Dan Santat, Lisa Yee, or Jaime Temairik.

Check this out. But only if you want to laugh.

And yes, Dan does give a shout out to Darth Watson, his/my "little light saber pen" and his/my book with the Blue Sky Press. And if anyone hasn't heard yet, Dan and Lisa have a pretty cool book coming out with a pretty cool editing team (Cheryl Klein wasn't there but was the *CO-editor with Arthur Levine), Bobby vs Girls (Accidentally). I met Dan like five years ago at the LA SCBWI just before his The Guild of Geniuses came out (really fun book). I recently asked him to be a friend on facebook, and despite him being famous now and meeting thousands of writers, he still remembered me and even details about me. Cool guy. I also met Lisa Yee at the same conference, when I think Millicent Min: Girl Genius was winning the SCWBI Sid Fleischman humor award (well-deserved, loved it).

I highly recommend both of these cool people's books and blogs. Both are so funny. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wet yourself. Just see Dan's dance instruction, Comic Con trip and pictures or Lisa's pal Peeps, who attacks certain Editors (now agent) like Mark McVeigh (also really nice and talented guy) and slips manuscripts to editors under bathroom stalls.

* This is a correction from my earlier post. I mistakenly mislabeled Cheryl as the main editor, when Arthur was the editor too! Sorry Arturo!

Rainy Day

I've missed the rain.

Too much sunshine makes us hermit-writers a little cranky.

My Tree Monster missed it too. He looks pretty happy.

If you missed it here's my Tree Monster post.

Oh, and I'm very happy about a new addition to an incredible family. You are a cutey-pie Clementine. Welcome to this wonderful world. There is sad stuff but lots of wonderful stuff too when you look around, like you.

My contribution to science

Hello friends. Today I'm taking a minor detour from kid's books to share an amazing scientific discovery. I don't want to say that I'm following in the footsteps of Newton or Edison or anything, but I can tell you they both wear size ten shoes.

Does anybody else ever mix cereals? I know it sounds dangerous but I have discovered an amazing natural (sorta) phenomenon. Ready? Here it is:

1) Pour one half large bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios

2) Pour one half large bowl of Life cereal on top of it

3) Pour generous portion of milk (yes I do chew my fingernails too short)

4) Use spoon, take generous deep spoonfuls and eat

It usually takes about four-plus spoonfuls for the HN Cheerios and the Life to completely trade places.

Voila.

And lastly, my obligatory, shameless Linus picture.

Country mouse visits the nuclear reactor Part four hundred and, I mean four

With so many of my pals heading off to their own awesome conference in LA that I wish I was attending, here's my next installment from Haystack.

Also because Jaime T so nicely and publicly reminded me before her interview with Marla that I said I would. Good call Jaime!

Marla Frazee arrived at the Haystack (Reed) conference at the end of the first day. Why the tardiness? Because she's a prima donna that insists on things like having exactly 432 blue M&M's in a crystal dish, laid on a peach towel with an embroidered silhouette of Michael Jackson on it and not arriving until exactly three-quarters of a day late?

No. Not her style.

She was late because she flew STRAIGHT from Chicago and the ALA convention, where she received the Caldecott Honor Medal, to Portland and our conference.

I was eating dinner when she floated in, two feet above the ground. Silver halo etched into the

air above her. Little permanent smile. Dreamy eyes. We all huddled around her table to hear every little detail which she shared in typical humble and honest Marla fashion, answering every single one like we were as important as Betsy Bird or Jaime Temairik.

We were so caught up, finally the Reed cafeteria did the subtle turn-the-lights-off thing. Marla's silver halo glow lighted our way.

Imagine a very hardworking and deserving dark, curly-haired Cinderella being whisked up from her writing studio with paint smudges still on her face by her fairy librarian, magically slipped into a beautiful gown with cool shoes (apparently that's important to girls because there were a ton of questions about those), with pumpkin limos, beautiful hotel rooms and, of course, a magical night to remember. It was all on her face before she said a word.

But as magical as the night was and how it seems so sudden by the pomp and the event, the truth is that Marla has been working very hard for a long time. It didn't just happen. She made it happen by working passionately at something she loves.

Marla doodles.

ALL THE TIME. She said that she's never been able to concentrate in lectures or anything unless she is doodling. Though I don't think you can really call it doodling. I could take Marla's notebook from the conference and sell it right now on the black market for oodles. Doodles for oodles. (no really, make me an offer, sale on the caldecott shoes too)

Doodling is contagious too. Sitting next to her I started doodling and she would be very nice and complimentary which felt great, until I'd look at her doodle. Yeah, humbling.

My bear.

Notice the fuzzy, insecure lines. Marla's were razor sharp.

And my attempt at my Maestro character I've toyed with.

As you can see, not working out.

So I turn to the Caldecott Honor recipient and somebody who teaches illustration at Art Center and other prestigious places for help with my doodle.

I hope this reads. But she wrote, "Bigger rounder head. No neck. Lower the eyes." Then did the two-second, light pencil sketch at the bottom right as an example.

What does she know right? So I tried.

Nearly there.

Voila. Maestro!

At the faculty reading, Marla shared a book that should come out next year (I think) that is amazing. I foresee very great things from this book. You heard it here first, I'm calling it. NY TIMES BESTSELLER.

But Marla was having a difficult time reading from the dummy and turning the pages.

Who, oh who, could rescue her? Who would be qualified enough to turn the pages?

Duh, de, de, daaaaah!

Our hero.

Yes, Patron Saint of struggling authors and page-turners, Arthur A Levine to the rescue.

Afterwards, Arthur gushed about how he didn't even have to look to know where the page turns were (note to pic bk writers). Arthur's opinion on the book was something rhyming with:

Freaking Awesome.

And then they snogged.

I figured this photo might be able to land on the children's book smut tabloids. But I don't think there are any. Besides this blog I mean.

At some point in the near-ish future, I am going to give a whole post just to Arthur and how much he helped me at the conference and as a writer.

This post is my attempt to share what a cool, wonderful person Marla Frazee is. She has selflessly shared with many writers and illustrators both praise and direction. Classy, talented, stylish, friendly and funny. I've been a fan of Marla for a very long time and consider her a friend. Real proud of her too.

She'll be at the LA conference and is not intimidating, except for being so pretty. If you have an avocado she'll like you even more.

If you haven't yet checked out Marla's books, you're in for a treat. And if you look at her website, check out her awesome studio underneath an avocado tree. Really touching story about that. But I really wouldn't do it justice.